America’s Got Talent Season 3 Round 3 on July 3, 2008

Do Does America Have Talent? We have seen 3 shows of this season and the question might still be up in the air!!!

The third time around for open auditions in Dallas, Chicago and Atlanta. The third time around for America to display its outstanding talent or (sigh!) the hideous and somewhat tragic display of what the performers believe is talent. In my first review I was quite moved. In the second episode, it seemed the talent was quickly sliding down a concrete slab to a gully full of thorns. Perhaps the bad acts were included to understand the audience’s reaction. I have to admit, however, that is the fun of watching this show. Mind you, there are many, many auditions that went unseen. I suppose that is why the editors pick and choose the talent to be included. In the 3rd episode Sharon Osbourne, David Hassefhoff, and Piers Morgan saw exactly what the America had to offer. It was sort of a balance in this open audition.

Dallas: Where Everything is Supposed to be Bigger and Better

Corky Duke, a 41 year old cashier performed line dancing. The name says it all. I would urge the cashier to show a little more creativity and individuality. The audience and judges wholeheartedly agreed. The Rodeo Rhythm Kings were not much better. Hush little baby don’t sing a word. The audience and judges did not want to hear anymore of that, “Pretty Woman.”

Nolan Leach, diminutive alongside his huge horse Bravo, lassoed and did a back flip off the horse. I thought the horse was going to make a mess on stage, but Nolan did that job himself. Juli Blue clogged in her cowgirl boots while fervently hanging onto her banjo. Better luck next time, Juli.

Jacque Kendall laid on her back with at least 20 hula hoops covering the floor. When she stood up and twirled one on her arm, it flew off and streamed passed Sharon and David. I do not think that was supposed to happen. Ballroom Dance Teacher Ross Tinsley performed next. He simply put his hands together and made a horse clopping sound. Now why would someone get up there and do an act like that?

And then there was Holly Hardin, the 19 year-old Radio Shack clerk. While she performed in Dallas, she was from Rockmart, Georgia. (Personally, I would have stayed in Georgia and went to the auditions in Atlanta, but it certainly NOT my decision.) When Sharon asked if Rockmart was far from Dallas, she opened up her eyes wide and replied in the most sincere voice, “Um, I don’t know.” David and Piers laughed. Sharon asked how she had gotten to Dallas. Ms. Hardin replied, “A plane.” The audience roared at her young naivety that came straight out of Rose from the Golden Girls. She sang “These Boots are Made for Walking” and upon her finish, her eyes once again widened and she said “Thank you.” David and Sharon said no while Piers said yes. They actually gave her a second chance which is unheard of on America’s Got Talent. She sang a line from Dolly Parton and it was phenomenal. When David, known as The Hoff by his fans, asked why she did not sing that in the first place, she replied, “I can’t really tell you.” Voila, she is going to Vegas. Her energy combined with her innocent demeanor, I believe, pulled her through. And the begging didn’t hurt, either.

Duo Genesis, male and female circus artists, performed an act one would see in a Cirque du Soleil performance, but they were only two strong. And, boy, were they strong. Welcome to Vegas. Eleven-year old Lewis Warren Jr. played the piano a symphonic ecstasy. The judges and audience were enthralled. The audience gave him a standing ovation.

The Shaolin Warriors combined martial arts, feats of skill and beautifully choreographed routines. At the end of the act, one gentleman hung on two spears high off the ground. David even exclaimed shi, which is yes in Chinese. Twenty-two performers made up the group Beyond Belief Dance Company and they excelled in their style and energy. The ages ranged from 12 to 17 years old. Upon finishing, Piers (who must be the king of fashion) indicated their outfits were horrendous and the make-up was even worse. However, Piers did mention they all danced incredibly. The group danced to Jimmy James’ song “Fashionista” in which a phrase had mentioned no one ugly allowed. I am not sure about that, but they danced fabulously.

Fran Martin accompanied by Smithfield, the belligerent 10 year-old pot-belly pig surprised me. The pig was an artist. And to be quite honest, aren’t all artists stubborn? Piers told Fran that Smithfield would have been more useful as his bacon sandwich. Very bad, Piers! Very bad!

Diana Ross, yes that was her real name, arrived on stage while Twinkles, her cute Terrier, danced around in circles. Not really what I would call talent and the judges absolutely agreed. Sean Paul, Juliane and their baby boy, a monkey, rang a bell to indicate he wanted to win the $1,000,000. However, the judges rang their buzzers. The judges win. Busy Bee Dogs balanced and caught Frisbees. David stated the act had gone to the dogs; all except for the one they left on stage.

Paul West and his canine, Tucker, did an acrobatic Frisbee routine. The great performer, along with his master, proved quite entertaining. David Hasselhoff buzzed the pair, but admitted it was very much by accident. Tucker did back flips, leaped through the air, and jumped on Paul’s shoulders while continually catching Frisbees (in his mouth, that is, not his paws). Way to go Paul and Tucker!

Paul Salos, 71, performed an outstanding impersonation of Frank Sinatra. He sang “Fly Me to the Moon.” In seconds of his performance the audience stood and clapped to the beat. Sharon and David got up and danced. The three judges all had nothing but praise pouring out of each of their mouths.

They’re Back…(in Chicago)

Brother and sister, Junior and Emily, 22 and 18, respectively, grew up only with their father. When he realized they began to hang around the “wrong” crowd, he enrolled them in dancing lessons. That was nine years ago and they have darn-near perfected their Salsa dancing. The two dance instructor put fire in their moves and affirmative votes by all three judges inevitably spiced up their lives.

“Yellow,” David exclaimed as a greeting. The married music teachers, Stephanie and Zane, entered the stage whose shirts were a blinding yellow. After hearing their voices I was genuinely concerned about the quality of the singing in their schools. Yikes!

Next was George the Giant. He stood 7’3” and his performance was based on an old side-show act. First, he inserted a straw through his nose and it came out his mouth. Oh, it was a VERY, VERY long straw. Then he proceeded to drink some milk. He was funny the entire time and ended his performance with a bang as firecrackers adorned his chest. Sharon said no, but the two guys said yes. Congrats George!

Following George, was 24 year-old, Jessica Price. She played the guitar and sang “I Can’t Make You Love Me” with such authenticity and emotion. The meek and humble quality was so refreshing. Piers admitted he always thought all female performers in America were like Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan, but she proved him wrong. She learned everything she knew from her dad, a minister, but he left Jessica and her family and have not heard from him since. When Sharon brought up how sad she seemed, she denied it and said she was just nervous. However, the audience gave her a standing ovation. I was so happy for her. When she sang, I definitely got chills.

Atlanta…the Birth place of The Hoff

The last stop is the hometown of David Hasselhoff, but he did not feel so great during the beginning of the auditions. It seemed the only talent belonged to the fish that swam in the world’s largest aquarium. Well, I will let you judge for yourself.

First on stage was Alistair McQueen, a skinny 18 year-old waiter, who did a male burlesque act. His performance was anything but funny and what is more, Piers stated he needed the appropriate equipment, so to speak. Wow, Piers! Coburn Harstell, a 32 year old mortician had a slightly better body, but when he started doing the stomach rolls, he unanimously struck out. Then Gravity Plays Favorites performed a pole dance. When Sharon heard the squeaking of the pole, she turned away and cringed. Scandalesque came out and the four women were awful. Following Scandalesque, the Hollywood Men performed. Now they did have fine bodies and moves, but David reminded them it was, indeed, a family show. Introducing Busty Heart! (It even sounds like a porn star or a stripper’s name) I am not sure where she found a bra to actually fit her, but she proceeded to crush at least eight full cans with her breasts. Busty, I would not consider that talent, just brave. Sorry.

Changes did take place once Busty left the stage. The Southern Belles clogged in an eclectic manner to the fast, but very appropriate song “Are You Going to be My Girl” by Jet. The four young ladies added some contemporary moves to the dance and the audience and judges loved them alike. David and the audience stood up and cheered. Their energy secretly made me want to clog with them. You could actually tell these performers were full of passion.

Fifty year-old Dan Meyer, astounded the judges when he performed an act of sword swallowing. First one at a time and then several he delicately swallowed. When The Hoff buzzed him, he had a sword down his throat. Jerry Springer said to the camera and David alike, “What are you crazy? You almost killed him.” Welcome to Vegas, Dan.

Finally, we were presented with nine year-old, David Mitello. He suffered from autism until he was three. He climbed on the bus one day and the driver said he sang all the way to and from school. That little boy was very outgoing and nothing was going to stop him. When Sharon asked what his favorite singer in the whole world was, he replied, “the Jackson 5” and he appropriately performed “Ben.” His mom had tears in her eyes and his dad was evidently proud. He has been singing ever since and will continue to do so once in he gets to the callbacks in Las Vegas.

The unusual and variety of the acts continued to amaze me. Some performers were not so talented, but others were simply amazing. I would love to be a judge on that show to have an opportunity to see every act. The three judges play their roles very well. Piers is a no-nonsense English man who rarely smiles and The Hoff can be full of utter praise or witty with his negative comments. Sharon is always so sincere and sweet. I am looking forward to the next episode on NBC, at 7/8 central on Tuesday July 7, 2008.

America’s Got Talent News