American’s Got Talent 6-5-07 Review
America’s Got Talent
Remove Regis Philbon, Insert Jerry Springer. Remove Brandy, insert Sharon Osborne, Remove a Heart and Consquience and you got Piers Morgan. Add some pills and Booze and you got David Hasselhoff. Yes this is America’s Got Talent
The first 4 weeks of the show will be auditions, in Dallas, Los Angeles, Chicago, and New York, and are open to anyone that wants to try out. The grand prize, just like last year, is one million dollars. At this point, the contestants are trying to get to the Las Vegas round, where the top 20 will be chosen. From that point, the competition is in our hands.
We’re starting out with Dallas tonight. Our first contestant tonight is a Barry White sound alike. Seems to me he should have tried out for the Next Big Thing or whatever the show on ABC is with the impressionists. His name is Tony La Brea, and he’s here from Los Angeles, to sing the p***ycat Dolls. Unfortunately, he’s not very good, and taking that robe off didn’t help. Wow, what a way to start the show! Poor David Hasselhoff looks like he needs to bleach his brain after that, Piers begs him to just put it away, and Sharon seems to have the giggles. Needless to say, he got x’ed right off the stage.
Next up is a humongous family that is apparently a country act? They seem like there are more of them than the Osmonds! They are the Dutton’s, and they are from Branson, Missouri. Well, I can see where they would be popular in Branson, and they are pretty entertaining, if not a tad too twangy for my taste. I don’t think that Piers liked them much, he buzzed them before they were done, but the crowd loves them. David and Sharon liked them too. Piers’ main complaint is that there are too many Dutton’s on the stage, and he thinks that they need to pare down their cast a bit if they are serious about winning. They are moving on to the next round, without Piers’ vote.
Oh boy. Elvis is in the building. A heavily made up Elvis, but Elvis is in the house. They all voted him off before he could sing, but have a change of heart and let him try. Heart was not a good thing. He sounded as bad as he looked! Just as quick as he came, Elvis has left the building.
Next up is Megan, an 18 year old ventriloquist from Beaumont Texas. Now, what’s unusual about Megan is that she has TWO dummies rather than the usual one. One is a boy, and the other a girl. Piers gave her the x before she was done. I don’t think he likes this type of act. His beef with her is that he doesn’t think it will work for an adult audience, and he may have a point. Sharon agrees, but wants her to have a chance in Vegas to try something a bit more grown up, and David agrees, so we’ll be seeing Megan and her dummies again.
Now we’re meeting Erica, a young girl inspired by Bianca Ryan, last year’s winner. She seems to think she’s better than Bianca was. Piers must be cranky, he just buzzed her too. I don’t think he’s given a single pass out tonight. Wow, he was just harsh with this girl, but he’s got a point. Sharon thinks she can sing, but it kind of creeps her out that a girl so little is singing such an adult song. David thought she could sing as well, but they pass on her anyway.
After the break, we meet Mr. Bill, a professional school bus driver from Vegas that aspires to be a vocalist. Oh, another veto from Piers. Mr. Bill started out shaky, but had a big finish. The audience and Sharon wanted to give him a chance, but he got shot down.
When we get back from the commercial break, we are treated to a real WHAT THE HELL moment! I’m not sure what it was supposed to be, some sort of performance art. It looked like 2 huge undulating slinkys, and it really was just slightly nauseating to watch all that rainbow color wriggle around.
Next up is Ari Marks, an energetic violinist who gets vetoed very quickly. Her hubby is up right after her, on the guitar. He seems to be received more favorably than she was, and is a hit with the audience. Piers says that he got better while his wife got worse. I swear, he’s meaner than Simon! Bottom line, David makes it, Ari does not. Bet its awkward at their house tonight!
Oh, now there’s this 9 year old cutie from Carson NV, named Breeze. She gets vetoed, but wow that girl is cute! David reminds Piers to be nice, so of course, he rips on her mom instead of her. Where’s that case of bran I was going to send Len? Good girl! Breeze lets him have it, telling him that her mom didn’t push her, she helped her. Sharon is so fed up with Piers, and the competition in general, that she walks out. I can’t say as I blame her, Piers has been in rare form today, I haven’t heard him say anything nice to anyone today. Even when he passed the guitarist through, it was full of digs at the wife. Its nice to see that Sharon isn’t going to take Piers’ crap, but this judging seems to be a bit harder for her than it was for Brandy last year.
And, we’re into hour two, starting with another recap of the good, the bad, and the ugly. After the recap, we see what a class act Sharon is, apologizing to poor little Breeze, who has waited out the whole mess. She’s a trooper and says its okay. What a sweet kid. Amazingly, Piers apologizes as well, its a nice gesture even though I don’t believe him. Breeze was vetoed ultimately, but she sure ended up with a lot of air time with this drama.
Next we have a singing trio who looks great, called Southern Girl. Wow, Piers let them finish without buzzing. They have a great look and a great sound, and will be headed to Vegas.
There ever plenty of freaks in the reject bins tonight! They are going too fast and furious with them for me to describe, but if there is a clip of the serious rejects on NBC or YouTube, watch it, these people are funny.
Next up is Bronson Gold, who is seriously just the worst dancer I think I’ve ever seen. He could give my friend Sexy on So You Think You Can Dance a run for his money! Wow! Just, WOW! For those of you that know who I’m talking about, he’s got that same kind of attitude as Sexy does too. Give this guy the hook, already!
Looks like we might be treated to something good with aspiring singer and guitarist Fallon, from Kyle TX. She’s ambitious, taking on a Jewel tune, and nailing it, in my opinion. Fallon gets a standing ovation from the audience, and again, Piers didn’t buzz her. WOW! He even said something nice. Must have had some Metamucil during one of the breaks…of course, she’s going through to Vegas, and if I were a betting girl, I’d say we will see her in the top 20.
After the break, we meet Sanjaya…oops, my bad, Brandon. He’s got a fauxhawk, I was confused. Brandon is an aerialist. Yes, one of those performers like in Cirque De Soleli, that dangles from the bedsheets. He was pretty good, but doesn’t get through.
There was just a horrible singer up there that butchered Stevie Wonder so badly that I had to mute the tv. Enough said about him!
After the break, there is this awesome dance troupe. I think they should go through to Vegas, and so do the judges. I’m looking forward to seeing what else they can come up with. This is another of those acts that is hard to describe. Check nbc.com for the video.
Oh goodie…a dog act. It reminded me of the Pets Rule show at Sea World. Very entertaining, but I don’t think they are going to be able to do much more than what they showed tonight.
Can we tell that I’m getting bored? 2 hours is a bit long in the tooth for me for this show. Next up is the Rascals, a singing/dancing group. They are pretty good. Piers says they have a great stage presence. David wants them through to Vegas, Sharon says they aren’t ready. Piers is the swing vote and puts them through.
Now we have a father/son acrobatic act from Vegas that is pretty good, but it seems to me that it should be one of those floor shows in the casino that you stop and watch while you’re wandering through and playing slots. They are through to Vegas.
Oh-kay….there is a brother act called the Pec Brothers up now, and I think this is the funniest act I’ve seen all night. Yes, they are flexing their boobs, to Dueling Banjos. It was scary and funny and disturbing all at once. The judges have a good giggle, but of course they get shot down!
Last act of the night is a dancing sax guy, named Mr Big “Who’s Got the Beat” or something like that. His real name is Andrew.
Just the same old Auditon process with plenty of bad acts to endure.
Your thoughts?