Monthly Archives: June 2006

America’s Got Talent 6-21-06 Review: Bring on The Clowns

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America’s Got Talent 6-21-06 Review: Bring on The Clowns
By Eric G.

America’s Got Talent made its network premier on NBC Wednesday 6-21-06.  The much publicized sister show to American Idol was a 2 hour “Audition” show in which the American TV viewing audience was subjected to heinous singing, a senior citizen stripper,  granny rapper, a balloon artist, animal acts and countless number of jugglers.

The two hour fiasco aired 27 acts on stage. I counted two, just two that were worthwhile.  Both Alexis Jordan a 14 year old singing sensation and male signing group “At Last” were the highlights of the “Talent”.  Thirteen other so called acts ranging from juggles, performance artist, animal acts, singers and magicians made it through to the next round.

If you missed the two hour show, you didn’t miss much. If you taped or TIVO’d America’s Got Talent watch it in Fast Forward.  To save you time and energy here is what you missed.

The three celebrity Judges consisted of David Hasslehoff, Brandy and Piers Morgan.  Each of these so called judges must have had a script from the past seasons of American Idol. Brandy played Paula Abdul, Hasslehoff took on the Randy ” Yo Dog” Jackson persona, and British Judge Piers Morgan had his Simon act down to a T.  (sans sweater).

Brandy “Aka Non-Drunk Paula Abdul” rarely had a negative thing to say and “Loved everyone”.  Piers  “Aka Simon-Jr” was the snarky one.  David Hasslehoff was just way out there.  Hasslehoff enjoyed some of the most heinous and bizarre acts and was upset when the other two judges reached over to BUZZ the final X to stop the insanity.

The premise of America’s Got Talent is a talent contest. There early rounds were labeled as auditions.  Each Judge had the opportunity to BUZZ out any contestant. Once the BUZZed a Large Red X appeared at the Head of the Stage.  If a contestant received 3 X’s they were to stop performing.  At some point the 3x’s meant see you later, you have no shot in hell.  At other times the 3 X’s were you sucked, but for some compassionate reason or pure numbers game, come on back next week. The judges voted them on to next week, even after giving then the 3X strikeout.  Humm.  Let’s get the rules straight guys. 3 strikes and your out, even in the old Chuck Berry Gong show days, it held true that a single Gong you where Gone!

First Act of the First Season of America’s Got Talent was “Bobby BadFingers”.  Mr. Fingers special talent is the ability to snap his fingers in a rapid pace, apparently in tune to a musical complement.  Um.  Um.  Our Three Judges thought he had Talent and we will be subjected to Snap-a-long Cassidy at least one more time.  This set the tone. The show was pretty much down hill from here. Even Regis Philbon the host knew it and tried many times to inform us that this was just an audition process.

Then came “Dave the Horn Guy” who was unique and better than Mr. Snapple, but got 3 X’s from the guys.  However in this weird competition the judges talked themselves into keeping Mr. Beep Beep.
A Group called Blue Velvet lasted 10 seconds and was gone.  “At Last” 4 male singing group got a standing ovation with “Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone” and do have true talent. Fifth on stage was a 8 year old little girl comedian. She was cute and her material was decent. We will see her again. One of the many jugglers of the evening  Kenny Shelton earned his way back from 3x’s to advance to the next round.

A Bizarre act with 2 males dressed as Pirates, and a Female dressed as a gipsy along with a Donkey did some weird performance art. Luckily there are gone forever in this season of America’s Got Talent.

The Donkey act was followed by a Senior Citizen calling himself the worlds oldest male stripper.  Bernie Baker, got 3 X’s from the Judges but David Hasseloff was engrossed in the performance and possibly viewed it as a future act to copy for his next come back.  Male Stripper will be back for another round of this Family oriented show.

Alexis Jordon the 2nd true talent of this evening performed a nearly flawless rendition of Whitney Houston’s “I have nothing”.  Audience, Judges and people at home I am sure could see a bright future for Ms Jordon.

Eddie Haskle’s singing saws last 10 seconds and got the AXE.  Pun intended.  Kevin Johnson’s ventriloquist act secured himself into the next round. The singing and harp playing of senior Kathy Kavanaugh earned her a trip home. Her opera style just didn’t stand up to these talented acts the judges were seeking.  The worlds most cockiest and geekiest impressionist Eric “ Harry Carey” Mol bit with the voices of Yoda, Scooby doo and Arnold lacked intelligence, humor, and above all talent.  Eric Mol,  Gone he is, yes!

A Russian lost on his way to Circus So del sole , Valdimir ( Triple Letter Word Score) Malchikhin twisted, contorted and balanced his way to the next round.  Team ArcoDunk soon to be at a basketball half time show near you trampolined and dunked their way into  the next round.

The full moon weirdo  Jay Myl and his playing Noise Flute lasted 10 seconds, but his heckling of the judges was classic.  I vote him onto the next round just to keep giving Hasselhoff crap. But sadly Nasal tones are not considered a Talent.  May have to check Wiki for a proper ruling on that.  Blue Plate Special Senior Citizen discount  Betty Victor got through a few bars of “God Bless America” before the Red X’s Flashed.

Another full moon act, The Boofont Sister made a brief appearance.  I couldn’t tell if they were men in drag or Ugly overweight women or something in between. Mosesha loved their singing voice and Hasslehoff was impressed by the fact he couldn’t figure out if they were male or female either.  Piers Morgan had the line of the evening saying they should team up with Bernie Baker the Oldest Male stripper and create an act. 

Another Juggler Ivan Pecel made the cut along with a unique magic act preformed by Nathian Burton and a undisclosed black performer.  Holy Cow an Inflatable break dancing milk squirting Heifer  was BBQ’s by the judges. Gospel singer Michael Speaks impressed the audience and judges and will thankfully be back soon.  Vadik another fricken Juggler made it to the next round, while Wild Life Wendy and her talking Wazu bird act flew the coup.  The act was actually really good, compared to some of the crap we had witnessed. J R Johns and his dogs act scooped their way to the next round while a Balloon performer an S. Frank Stringham took his Mr. Potato Head Balloon act somewhere else. Our Show came to a close with a Rapping Granny that got audience ovations and judges praises.  Why I don’t know, but this is America’s Got Talent.

See you next week 6-28-06 for some more bizarre stuff and a few diamonds in the rough.

Discuss in the America’s Got Talent Forum

 

America’s Got Talent 6-21-06 Review and Recap

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America’s Got Talent made it’s debut on NBC from the Paramount Studios in California. Regis Philbon was the host of this one part variety, one part “Gong Show”, one part Talent, and one part What they Hell where they thinking show.

The two hour show consisted of 27 On Air acts in which 15 performers made it through to the next round.  We were subjected to Jugglers, Animal Acts, Comedians, Singers, Dancers, more Jugglers and some outrageous crap.

The three celebrity Judges consisted of David Hasslehoff, Brandy and Piers Morgan.  Each of these so called judges must have had a script from the past seasons of American Idol. Brandy played Paula Abdul, Hasslehoff took on the Randy ” Yo Dog” Jackson persona, and British Judge Piers Morgan had his Simon act down to a T.  (sans sweater).

Brandy “Aka Non-Drunk Paula Abdul” rarely had a negative thing to say and “Loved everyone”.  Piers  “Aka Simon-Jr” was the snarky one.  David Hasslehoff was just way out there.  Hasslehoff enjoyed some of the most heinous and bizarre acts and was upset when the other two judges reached over to BUZZ the final X to stop the insanity.

The premise of America’s Got Talent is a talent contest. There early rounds were labeled as auditions.  Each Judge had the opportunity to BUZZ out any contestant. Once the BUZZed a Large Red X appeared at the Head of the Stage.  If a contestant received 3 X’s they were to spot performing.  At some point the 3x’s meant see you later, you have no shot in hell.  At other times the 3 X’s were you sucked, but for some compassionate reason or pure numbers game, come on back next week. The judges voted them on to next week, even after giving then the 3X strikeout.  Humm.  Let’s get the rules straight guys. 3 strikes and your out, even int he old Chuck Berry Gong show days, it held true that a single Gong you where Gone!

There were several highlights in this show, namely Alexis Jordan and singing group AT Last. There performaces where top notch

The following Acts or Performers made it on to the next round:

1) Bobby BadFingers – He snaps his figures in rapid form to music and dances. He passed thru. ( weak)

2) AT Last- a 4 part harmony hip hop group that sang Bill Withers ” Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone” Excellent!

3) Sid the Kid – 8 year old girl comedian – Not bad got the audience behind her.

4) Kenny Shelton – Juggler – was 3 x’d by the judges at first but back doored his way in by asking to do his final act. On a board and rolling pin he judggled 3 knives for 60 seconds without dropping one. ( weak)

5) Bernie Baker – Oldest Male Stripper – (WHY?) got 3 x’s but passed thru anyway

6)Alexis Jordan – 14 year female singer. Did whitney Houstons “I Have Nothing” ( Very Good)

7) Kevin Johnson – ventrilaguist – good act with two puppets. ( Good) 

8) Valdimir Malchikhin – Male perfomance dancer in the “Circus del Solei” acrobatic style. ( Ok)

9) Team Arco – 5 male performers dunking basketsballs with the aid of trampolines. Good acrobatics. ( Good)

10) Ivan Pecel – another Juggler Good Act.

11) Nathain Burton – Magic – Good act. “Black and White” Got into Microwave came out in 15 seconds as a Different performer who was Black. Played to steriotypes.

12) Michael Speaks – Gospil singer – Excellent voice

13) Vadik – Juggler Best juggler of evening

14) J.R Johns – Dog act – entertaining

15) Rapping Granny – Older grandmother rapping. Not that talented, but audience favorite.
Performer who didn’t make the cut were:

Blue Velvet
Eddie Haskel Singing Saws
Kathy Kavanaugh
Eric “Harry Carey” Mol
Jay Myl
Betty Victor
The Boofont Sisters
Holy Cow
Wild Life Wendy
S. Frank Stringham

Discuss the America’s Got Talent Show in the Fan Forum

America’s Got Talent – Maybe

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There are acrobats. Jugglers. Ventriloquists. Even a rapping 68-year-old grandma.

Yes, “The Gong Show” meets, well, something of a freak show. NBC, however, is calling its new anything-goes variety/talent show debuting tonight (9 p.m. ET) , “America’s Got Talent.”

But the rub is so much of America doesn’t boast a lick of talent. Which is often more fun to watch. Clearly NBC is hoping — praying — that “Talent” will become the next “American Idol”-like sensation. For the summer, anyway.

The comparisons aren’t coincidental. “Talent,” after all, is executive produced by meany “Idol” judge Simon Cowell. And, like on that other little singing competition show on Fox, “Talent” features three judges: former “Baywatch” and “Knight Rider” stud David Hasselhoff, R&B star Brandy and some “controversial” British chap named Piers Morgan whose job is to be brutally honest like another judge we all love to hate.

Viewers can also get in on the action and vote for the contestant they think has the best talent and should walk away $1 million richer. Doesn’t that format sound familiar?

Lording over the madness is talk-show host extraordinaire and the always nattily dressed Regis Philbin. When Cowell heard the chatty Philbin was interested, he was shocked.

“I thought I was being celebrity Punk’d,” he says. “I was very flattered, very delighted. He brings star power to a show.”

So, Mr. Cowell, why a wacky variety show that’ll feature more acts than any Broadway show ever produced?

“If I didn’t think we could find a star, I wouldn’t have made the show,” he says. “It’s as simple as that. Variety is the key. You absolutely have no idea as to who’s coming up on stage next.”

But with so many talent shows on the air, viewers may begin suffering talent-show overload. The always cocksure Cowell, however, isn’t worried.

“Whether you’re making dramas or comedies or talent shows, you’ve got to be good and you have to be different,” he says. “I think if I was coming out with another singing competition, I’d be nervous.”

Cowell and his “ghastly” comments won’t be seen or heard on camera. He’s strictly a behind-the-scenes producer on “Talent.” But that title wasn’t always easy for Cowell to accept.

“I was very tempted to go into disguise and judge this show,” he admits. “It was quite awkward for me watching on the sidelines because there were many, many, many moments where I wanted to throw someone out of the judges’ chair and tell (the contestants) exactly what I thought.”

Speaking of the judges, Cowell assembled a rather — how do you say? — odd mix. But he’s standing by his choices.

“I’m fascinated by David Hasselhoff and I could listen to him for hours,” Cowell says.

And he’s serious.

“He has a lot to say on many subjects in the world and at one point in his life he was the biggest TV star on the planet,” adds Cowell, who met Hasselhoff several years ago when he was a recording artist on Cowell’s record label. “He came to the “American Idol” finale last year and when he walked into the auditorium, (the reaction) was unbelievable.”

As for Brandy, Cowell remembered her being “fantastic” as a guest judge on “Idol” and thought she would be the right fit for “Talent.” But he had to fight the skeptical Fox programming suits to add the unknown Morgan.

“They hated him when I first introduced him,” Cowell recalls. “I said, ‘Well, meet him’ and he completely won them over. I told him, ‘They don’t want to like you. They don’t like the idea of having another Brit on the panel.’ He turned them around within 30 minutes.”

Cowell also warned Morgan, a former newspaper editor, to be prepared for the Cowell comparisons.

“Everyone is going to hate you, so get used to it,” Cowell told Morgan. “But I said, ‘Do what you do best. You’ve got to deal with it and don’t change. You are who you are.’ ”

Says Philbin of Morgan: “He is going to be the glue up there on that panel.”

But will he be as entertaining to watch as you-know-who?

Of course not.

“Do you think I’d put on someone better than me,” Cowell says, chuckling devilishly.

With such a wide variety of talent performing, just how are the judges supposed to compare and rate talents?

“No person in the world is an expert in all of those arts,” Cowell acknowledges, “but if you’re entertained, there’s an argument that if you like it, other people may like it. We’re just trying to say what we think the audience will like.”

Philbin, who co-hosts the popular morning show “Live with Regis and Kelly,” learned early on he didn’t care for the looooong audition phase. “Simon warned me that the beginning of that audition phase was going to be long and arduous and tiring for everybody,” he says. “It takes 10, 12 hours to get a one-hour audition show.”

That’s not news to Cowell.

“Everybody,” he says dryly, “wants to be famous.”
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